How to Make Peace with Your Parents during Arguments
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Family conflicts happen all the time just like a rolling wheel, sometimes your family is in the mood and your life is like a sitcom, but the other time it could be feeling like a thriller drama. It just happens. You can’t expect your family to live a 24/7 happy life without any stony path along the way, in fact, when a discussion escalates from a cooperative dialogue into an argument, it signals a fracture in the partnership that may be either acute, or more abiding.
As for the family issues, certain parents have a tendency to create less mistakes than what they did before in their lives through their children, and that often got the children feel suffocated with their obsessions and goals. Growing from a small seeds to a small trees, children are used to look upon the bigger trees in front of them, and mostly they are happened to be with those who raised them up, parents. Children learned how to trust by putting their innocent faith in their parents, and that grow into positive and negative things, whether the bond between them grow stronger or weaker.
During conversation parents are often taking control of the ongoing discussion, but children whom feel attacked and cornered can also fire back and make the conversation blows stronger into a confrontation then ending up as an argument. Argument is also a way of communicating, but charcoal that is keep being added to the fire make the ambiance gone wrong and possibly have a bad ending between the family members and that’s what we aiming in this topic. How to keep it the ambiance during the arguments?
Communication is the key to any relationships, it’s the only way the bridge can be built to connect two different ways of thinking together, the barometer of intimacy, and the silver linings to any humane interactions. So when communication is failed between two parties or more, it is a sign of a more complex form of bond. Then why do we argue? Why do you even raise your voice? Before something is turning into arguments, it’s always start from the form of confrontation, a hostile situation between opposing parties and an expression of our emotional limitations.
To ease down the tension during arguments, the role of mediator is very important, but can you ask for one in every arguments you had that can occur at any times possible? The answer is definitely a no, to have someone unbiased with the situation and the parties involved by participating other family members are just not making any senses. Then how you do it? These are 3 ways to make a peace during an arguments with your parents.
Talk and communication.
Although most of the times it’s almost impossible to do it while they can’t even penetrate your point of view into their heads, it’s really important to express your emotion in form of conversation. Other than you can let them know what makes you feel comfortable and what don’t, they will also respect you and you guys can reach compromises afterwards.
Be the mediator to yourself
You can be the mediator to your own mind and do what mediators do to find the silver linings between two opposing parties. When you’re trapped in an arguments, ask yourself these three questions to yourself before lashing out your anger to the other party; “what is your greatest concern?”, “what do you most want to see to happen?”, and “what do you most want other person to understand?”. Communication is a two way relationship just like phones, if you want the other person to answer your phone, you also have to pick up your phone too, and that is the very basic thing you need to understand to keep the ambiance during arguments.
The way of communication that is used from the parents of ours are different than the one we use nowadays, the gap of communication caused by different generation often led to a misunderstanding. Understanding your parents comes with many benefits, such as improving your relationship with your parents, learn things about them and have the opportunity to enjoy their company. For some people it’s just hard to be around the same space with their parents because they barely talk to each other, and that’s what you need to improve. Parents won’t forbid you from anything for no reasons, they might lack of information that made them do so, hence try to understand what’s in their mind, if you want them to understand your situation, you need to understand their feelings too, they might be holding a huge chunk of stress but you have no idea about it, right?
Writer: Windyannisa Cindrati
Editor: Olivia Elena Hakim
Photos courtesy of Shutterstock
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