What Does “It’s Not You, It’s Me” in Breakup Means
Thursday, July 25, 2019
“It’s not you, it’s me,” is probably the most textbook breakup line that there is. It sounds like an excuse and what it does is only confusing the other party, hence ending them with an unwanted wound. Then what does it actually mean?
A relationship works with the efforts that are made by two people. It’s difficult but worth fighting for. However, not every relationship could last as long as you wished for, and there is a time when the magic line being said. “it’s not you, it’s me.” As cliché as it may sound, it there’s a reason for the line being thrown at the other party and it’s not an excuse.
According to Shannon Thomas, the author of Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Physical Abuse, when a couple faces an one-sided breakup, the person might have a long-term insight that they are not ready for a committed relationship. And it takes a bravery to end things that were begin with love. This person is not throwing you some untold reasons necessarily to make you feel insecure about your whole-being, instead they are letting you know that it hurts them to hurt you when they can’t give you a whole being of them in the relationship.
It takes a mature adult to reveal a hurtful reality to their partner, but also only someone with a clear mind that can do so. Hence if someone tells you “it’s not you, it’s me,” don’t give that person some cold shoulders, but believe them. And move on. Breakups could never be easy and rarely done in a friendly way, but when the time comes, just face it focus on healing yourself faster.
Source: Psychalive, Elitedaily, Huffpost, Bustle
Writer: Windyannisa Cindrati
Editor: Olivia Elena Hakim
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